Blessed to be a mum to 4 boys 🙏🏼

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I hate night time, I hate how lonely I feel, I lie in bed browsing the Internet, the TV is on but I don't even watch it.. all I can think about is cancer and how lonely I feel.
I'm thankful that I have my boys in my life to give me the strength to get out of bed in the morning, I moan about the house work but in a way it takes my mind off everything that's going on.
I have my youngest in bed with me most nights for cuddles hes so loving ❤ I wrap my arms around him and all I can think is 'am I going to die and leave my 4 babies behind'.. People can say stay strong but how can you when the wait feels like forever to get the results to determine where the cancer is and how much there is 😭😭
Agonising!! 
The strength I have within me is from my dad & my beautiful boys and for them I'm thankful 💞

Wonder when I'll actually get a break in life 🤔 

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