April 2nd Wednesday.

Had my 9th driving lesson yesterday and my head wasn't in it. I stalled so many times and I had a driver beeping at me from behind which made the situation even worse. Apparently I'm doing what I should be for my 9th lesson and I shouldn't feel disheartened. Let's hope the more lessons I have the easier it will become. Fingers crossed.

I'm saving for a car now, can't wait be driving.

I've been see my mum today which has done me good. She made us both a coconut tai green curry for dinner and it was lovely. Mum's always made lovely curries.

2 of my friends came visit me last night, was nice to have a catch up. Never feel like seeing anyone but always glad when I do.

I went the cafe this morning to see some of my friends. I just wish I had more to say.

Wonder why I don't talk much anymore?

It's got to be the depression.

I've felt ok the past few days, I mean, I'm always sad but I'm ok, if that makes sense.

I don't want to die which is the main thing.

I've brought big fresh baguettes for tea to have sausage and cheese on.

I ordered Mounjaro yesterday, it's a weight loss injection. It was expensive, £189 so I'm hoping it works when it arrives. I'm sick of feeling fat so this injection is my last resort. I'll let you know when it arrives and how it goes. I need my mouth sewing up I swear.

I'm sat waiting for the school run now to collect Jesse-John. I hate doing the school run but love to see his little face. Jasper will be here later and we'll have tea together. He doesn't live with me but I see him everyday.

I'm taking Jasper and Jesse the cinema at the weekend to watch the new Minecraft movie. Jesse plays Minecraft all the time so he'll love it. Be nice do something together. 

I absolutely love being a mum. It breaks my heart that one of my children has passed away, it kills me inside, but I'm really trying my best to get on with life.

Some days are harder than others which you know by my blog posts. I really am trying my best to get better and socialise more. It does me good to be around people. My mind goes on overdrive when I'm alone. I hate being on my own.

Anyway, that's all for today.